I See it!!! I Want it!!!

Today is a difficult day for me. I'm in one of those moods to just over indulge in everything I see whether good or bad for me. Having kids make times like this even worse because I know what awaits me in the kitchen =/. it is now 1:45 p.m and I have yet to eat anything. Yes, yes I know it's wrong but being the food junky that I am it's so hard to say no. As I write this I'm watching "The Beyonce Experience" as motivation and honestly it's making me more hungry lol. Ugh she looks damn good. A quick tummy tuck and some lipo would answer all my prayers right now lol. Sometimes, in my opinion, seeing results is the best motivator but I really need a miracle right now... HELP!!!! ughhhhhhh! =(

Getting started!

So this is probably my 100th attempt at weight loss since my 2nd child in 2002. I'm sick of these fat thoughts consuming every part of me day in and day out. I just want to be healthy and look good and most important, be able to keep up with my kids. My last attempt started off pretty well. My husband and I found a method that we thought was working well for us.... (gym 2 hrs a day, tuna, salads, water, chicken, fish, etc.) until I passed out in the gym. Me trying to work out at his speed was not healthy for me and passing out in the gym, not to mention no one helping me, was pretty scary and we haven't been back ever since. That was August of 2010 and I pretty much went back to unhealthy eating =/ this is probably the most difficult thing for me to do because food is like a drug to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in survival mode but I want to live again. I'm telling you this journey is going to be hell and I really feel bad for whoever is in my path in the process..... Sorry in advance Greg lol... So I urge anyone who sees me with a burger, steak, or a rack of Jack Daniels Baby Back Ribs I give you permission to slap me silly and throw it away.... Not eat.... THROW AWAY!!!!! Lol I need all the help and support I can get. The sooner the better that way you don't see oopa loopa every time you look at me =)